I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
