I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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