You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
