mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
