I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
