i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
