I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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