very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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