Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I understand Curling. That high.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
