you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dignity is for republicans.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
