Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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