Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
