A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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