Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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