His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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