I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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