if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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