Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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