I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
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I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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