what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
