the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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