He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
