is your mom at the bar?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
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i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
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You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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