dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize