are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
