I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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