I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
