Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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