i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
