she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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