Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
