I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize