dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
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Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
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Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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