you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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