Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
