oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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