Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
