I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
