I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
