so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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