Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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