Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
