I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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