non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
