Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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