You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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