so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
