You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
