eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
