If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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