last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Im part way to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize