Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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