brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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