butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
