hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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