It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
