so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
